8 Strategies to Help Your Child Brush Their Teeth

Almost every parent has experienced the frustration of their child not wanting to brush their teeth. 

Why oh why can’t you just BRUSH.YOUR.TEETH? 

When I ask. 

Twice a day. 

Without me asking. 

For longer.

ARGH!

The habit of toothbrushing is so fundamental to our daily routines that it can be tough for us parents to understand why it’s so hard for our kids to get that it’s just something they have to do - and EVERYDAY!

We worry about tooth decay, oral hygiene, building good personal habits.  We sometimes feel like we’re failing if our child, toddler or older, won’t brush their teeth or puts up a good battle before doing so. 

A young child will struggle to understand why they need to brush their teeth. They have other priorities - playing! 

They will also struggle to understand why you need to be involved. 

However, there are approximately 24 steps in competently brushing your teeth (from unscrewing the toothpaste lid to turning the toothbrush in different angles to reach all the teeth) and it’s unreasonable to expect that a young child will be competent in all the steps.  It’s the reason why most dentists recommend that you help your child brush their teeth until they are around 7-8 years old.

If you’ve got a toddler (or older child) who won’t brush their teeth or refuses to let you help them brush their teeth, consider the following strategies: 

1. Model the Behaviour You Wish to See.

If you want your child to brush their teeth twice a day, it helps if they understand that YOU also brush your teeth twice a day.   Make a point of brushing your teeth in front of them or with them.  They will be interested in what you do and will learn to copy you. 

If you have more than one child, get them to brush their teeth at the same time.  This will encourage those who don’t brush their teeth as well or as willingly to follow their siblings.

If your child usually has their own bathroom separate to yours, move their toothbrush into your bathroom temporarily so you can brush your teeth at the same time.  Don’t worry, eventually, they’ll want to brush their teeth in their own bathroom - you’re working on building the habit first.

2.  Consider the Equipment 

Get an age-appropriate toothbrush and toothpaste.  So if you have toddler, get a toddler toothbrush which will generally be shorter, have a smaller brush head, softer bristles and might be colourful or have some fun designs on it. 

If your child struggles with toothpaste, try different brands and flavours.  If these are too strong, go down one level of toothpaste (e.g. if your 5-year-old child is using toothpaste for 4-6 year olds, try using a 2-4 year old one instead, which might have a milder flavour). 

If that doesn’t work, just work on getting your child into the habit of brushing their teeth without any toothpaste first (using warm water).  It won’t be as effective but it’s better than nothing and once they are in the daily habit of brushing, then you can work on introducing the toothpaste.

3. Make Toothbrushing Fun

Consider what you can do to increase the fun level during toothbrushing.  For toddlers, you could  sing a song, make it a game/race (e.g. check their sugar bugs, see if you can do it as long as the sand timer) or play dentists - “open wide” (you can pretend to be the dentist and brush their teeth while examining or counting them).

Your child might find it fun to do some role reversal and brush your teeth before you brush theirs. 

Or, your child might like to put their head in your lap while you brush their teeth - giving them a bit of snuggle close time and making the experience cosier.

Be creative - figure out what will get your child interested and motivated to “play” along.

4.  Educate

Outside of toothbrushing times, talk to your child about the reasons why we brush teeth and why you think it’s important. 

You can read books about toothbrushing, watch video clips or even play some apps that are specifically designed to teach children about toothbrushing.  Then you can reference these when it’s time for your child to brush their teeth.

5.  Reduce Sugar Intake

If your child really struggles to brush their teeth, you may consider looking at their diet and restricting their sugar intake. 

This is to limit any potential tooth decay until they can build up the habit of brushing their teeth and it also teaches them the importance of brushing after sugar consumption. 

This is especially helpful for slightly older children who might enjoy the odd sweet, pastry, sugary fruit or fruit juice.  They will learn that you have to brush your teeth consistently if you want to consume these yummy things.

7.  Focus on the Positive

 It’s very easy to get frustrated and annoyed when your child won’t do as we ask and brush their teeth.  If you’ve gotten into the cycle of engaging in a power struggle at bedtime, repeating your requests or nagging them, then you’re more likely to be easily annoyed each time they don’t comply.  

So, instead of engaging in a power struggle or repeating yourself until you lose it, take a deep breathe and make a choice to help your child instead of lock horns with them.  

You do this by offering your empathy and understanding of their resistance to tooth brushing and then reiterating the requirements to do so. 

Then, if appropriate, give them limited choices in how they’ll go about doing what’s required (e.g. Shall you put the toothpaste on the toothbrush or will I?  Do you want to get into your pyjamas first or brush your teeth first? Shall I sing a song or be quiet?)

8.  Take time to Reconnect

If your child is consistently uncooperative in brushing their teeth when it’s time to do so, and you’ve tried the strategies above, then it’s probably a sign that they are not feeling strongly connected to you.  There might be a lot going on in your lives or maybe you’re focused on moving them through the daily schedule.  There could be a whole variety of reasons why this is happening. 

Regardless of why, taking some proactive steps to reconnect with your child will go a long way to helping them want to do as you ask and behave the way you expect.  So make sure you’re spending some 1:1 time with them, without distractions or siblings - time when you are absolutely focussed on them and preferably doing something of their choosing and laughing in the process. 

Delight in their company consistently and as regularly as you can.  Doing so will help get your child “on side” so that even if they think tooth brushing is the worst thing in the world, they will consider doing it - for you.  

Teaching our children to brush their teeth regularly and well is one of our fundamental roles as parents.  It's part of why we get triggered and/or feel like failures when they won't or don't do it. 

Engaging in a power struggle, using force, punishments or bribes are not effective strategies in building up good habits.  Even if they might work short term, they potentially damage your relationship with your child or negatively impact their self-esteem.  

Using these 8 mindful strategies will help you encourage your child to brush their teeth and build up this important personal habit.