Talking To Your Children About the Virus

Given the current worldwide situation, it’s likely that if you’ve got kids over 4 years of age, they are already aware of the Coronavirus and you’ve already started to talk to them about it.

Whilst this is a new virus and the worldwide situation is currently changing on a daily basis, it IS important to talk to your children about the virus, both to ensure they are taking the necessary precautionary measures and to stem off any unnecessary anxiety.

Depending on the ages of your children, you don’t need to talk to them about it on a daily basis, but if they raise the issue you certainly should be prepared to have the conversation and address whatever their questions/concerns.

Remember that your children observe you and take their cues from your own behaviour.

So, if you are constantly reading the news or watching the TV and are obsessed with every update, then your children will learn that you have a higher level of interest in this subject and possibly wonder if there is something to be anxious about.

If you are constantly talking about the virus in adult conversations (with your partner, friends, etc.), know that if your children are in earshot, they will be listening or aware of your conversations and again, will likely feel that this is something to be concerned about and therefore feel a bit anxious about it.

And whilst it is can be challenging for anyone to remain calm when faced with uncertainty, it is really important that you try to temper your own reaction so that your children can continue to turn to you for reassurance and safety. 

This is a great opportunity for modeling resilience and showing your children how to be adaptable and keep going despite the unknowns or changing external situation. 

Things to Talk About & Do

1.  The Basics

• What is the virus?
• Where did it come from?
• How do people get it?
• Will I get it? 
• Will you get it?
• What’s going to happen?

Provide information in an age-appropriate way and avoid giving too much detail to younger children. 

The reality is, even though these are basic topics, you may not have all the answers (no one does!) and it’s okay to let your children know when you don’t. 

2.  Address Any Questions or Concerns. 

Again, you don’t need to give them every minute detail, but you can still address their questions, concerns or fears openly and honestly in an age-appropriate manner. 

Remember to acknowledge their emotions and thank them for talking to you - you want to keep those lines of communication open so that they feel they can come to you with any further questions/concerns or as the situation evolves.

What you want to avoid is dismissing their fears, brushing their feelings to the side or letting them stew - none of these will help your child manage what’s going on inside. 

The more that you can demonstrate to your child that you can handle their emotions, no matter how troubling, the more they will come to you for help in managing them.

3.   Review the Things they CAN Control

What we know is that anxiety often arises when we feel we cannot control a situation. So that the more we feel in control, the less anxiety we feel. 

In this situation, there is a lot that is unpredictable or beyond our realm of control but we can teach our children what IS in our control. 

One of those things is good hygiene habits. Through hand washing.  Coughing into a tissue or crook of the elbow.  Sneezing into a tissue and throwing it away immediately.  Using hand sanitizers if hand washing is not possible.  Etc. 

Revisit these habits and practice them with your children if necessary. 

In times of uncertainty it also helps to maintain as much of our daily life as possible. 

And if it’s not possible - say, if your area is in lockdown and schools are shut - then try to give your child some sort of routine for their day so that they have structure.

Yes, children thrive with unstructured playtime but when there is no structure at all they often struggle.  So, give them some structure to their day and allow some unstructured playtime in there!

Talk about what they CAN do if they are feeling anxious/worried/nervous/etc. 

They may be receiving other information about the virus from their teachers, classmates, friends or other relatives and it’s likely there will be some conflict in that information, so talk about some ideas of what they can do to help them feel less anxious/worried, etc. 

It may also help to talk about some of the strategies that YOU personally use (e.g. to focus on other things, not watch the news, meditate, etc.)

Be The Steady Ship for Your Children

It’s pretty certain that this situation is going to get worse before it gets better and that many of us will be subject to disruptions to our daily lives. 

That said, you can help your children feel safe and responsible by talking to them, being there for them and modeling your own resilience.