Summer Bedtime Resistance

Have you noticed it seems harder to get your child to bed during the summer?

Somehow there is more resistance.  The transition is just harder and can take so much longer. 

(Not to mention how offtrack normal routines might have gotten during confinement!)

It’s summertime.  It’s light outside when the clock strikes their ideal bedtime.  It’s the holidays, so you’re willing to let bedtime slip a little….

But when bedtime comes, there is all this resistance….

Maybe your child is fired up from being up so long and runs around the house wanting you to chase them. 

Maybe your child still can’t get their head around why they are going to bed when it looks like 5 o’clock outside. 

Maybe your child sees and hears the other kids in the neighborhood still playing outside and feels it’s SO UNFAIR that they have to go to bed now. 

Or maybe, your child decides that now’s the best time to declare they’re hungry or want to watch some TV.

If you’re experiencing a bit more of a struggle than usual to get your child to bed right now, know that you are NOT ALONE.  The struggle is real.  This is a thing.  Not for all, but definitely for many many families.

So what can you do?

Have a summer “Bedtime” window

You’ll know from your summer family schedule, activities and ages of your children what you general bedtime could be.  During the summer months, unless your child is still very little, this general bedtime is likely to be a little bit later than it is during the school year.

Designating a 30-minute window where your child will go to bed each night will help their bodies stay in a good rhythm and help them be ready to fall asleep each night.  It also helps you plan and manage your day.  For example, if you know bedtime is going to be 8pm, you know dinner needs to happen by around 6:30pm.

Have some firm intake limits

Do you have a child who declares their hunger at bedtime?  Or always needs another drink? 

Setting some firm limits on when their last meal of the day is will help both of you know what’s expected and better meet those expectations.  For example, you might say that dinner is the last opportunity for food and a drink of water is allowed when they are brushing their teeth.  If that’s your limit and you’ve discussed it with your child, you’ll have an easier time enforcing it and they will begin to understand how it works and ensure they eat enough at dinner.

And yes, there will still be moments when they still ask for more food or one more drink…and then you can empathise with them, restate the limit and let them know tomorrow is not far away!

Have a laugh

Laughter is a fantastic way for our bodies to release any pent up energy and emotions that we have stored during the day.  It’s also a great way to reconnect with your children before bedtime so that they are happy to go to sleep without you or knowing that you’re staying awake.

For smaller children, you could have a run around outside, jump on the trampoline, play hide and seek or have a sock fight in your living room.  Anything that gets some energy out quickly and gets everyone having fun and laughing.  For older children, you could have a quick dance-off, martial arts air flight, or just tell each other jokes.  The activity itself doesn’t really matter.  It’s more about having 5-10 minutes of time together, having fun and releasing before bedtime.

I hear you asking, what if my children enjoy this SO much that they don’t want to stop?  If that’s the case, empathise and promise you’ll make time to do the same again tomorrow night and every night thereafter if they want. It just needs to be restricted to x minutes (you decide - 10 should be enough).  And, if you are going to do it every night, your children agree ahead of time that their bedtime routine immediately follows.  If your child knows that they can look forward to that fun tomorrow night, and the night after, they are more willing to accept when you say tonight’s time is over.

Allow Some Independence

Regardless of how old your child is, there are things they CAN be doing for themselves, especially when it comes to their bedtime routine.  Allow them to be responsible for themselves and getting ready for bed in so far as they are able.  Think about what autonomy you can give them in the routine that will help them not only feel more capable and grown-up, but make them more willing to go through their routine when you ask.

For example, you might read stories to your child but then allow them to have some quiet time on their own to read (even picture books for little ones) in bed in a dimmed room.  Some might even want to turn their light off by themselves when they feel sufficiently sleepy.  Or siblings sharing a room could chat quietly to one another after lights out.  These are some ways we can allow them to feel like they have some control and enjoy the “summer” without it impacting your evening adult time too much.

Reconnect

Even though it’s summer and you might be spending a lot of time with your child during the day, they may still have “stuff” they are holding inside and need to let go of in the evening.  Having a casual chat over an extended bedtime cuddle can be an easy and nice way to allow your child to “get it all out” without feeling pressured to do so.  It could be questions they are thinking about, random thoughts, things that happened, interactions they had, etc.  Giving your child the space to talk about whatever they want to, with you just listening to them (avoid asking too many questions) can help them to process and release all that “stuff” inside while feeling safe and reconnected to you. 

It doesn’t matter if your child is 2 or 14 or somewhere in between, these 5 simple things will make a massive improvement to any summer bedtime resistance you may be experiencing in your home.

Free Call

If you're ready to feel confident about your parenting and feel like you have the skills and strategies available to you to successfully parent through any situation, whether it's bedtimes, mornings, dealing with defiance or knowing how to best support your child, then I invite you to schedule a free call with me at bit.ly/callmiki.

We'll talk about where you and your family are right now and what you'd like things to look like.  I'll help you get clarity on the steps you can take and what's standing in your way.  It's 30 minutes of your time to grab AMAZING insights into what's going on and to begin to believe in what's possible for you and your family.