How To Release That Overbearing Pressure

Too often, as parents (especially us mamas!), we put so much pressure on ourselves to do all the things.  We think that we need to do certain things, be a certain way or guide our children down a certain path. 

Sometimes we even do these things subconsciously. 

Maybe it’s a comment our mother or girlfriend said to us that has made us behave or react a certain way with our children.  Maybe it’s a fear or hurt from our own past that is fueling our drive. There could be so many reasons.

If you find yourself feeling an overbearing parental pressure right now, for whatever reason, I want to offer you a potential perspective shift regarding your parenting.

Everything that you do for your children is a choice.

Let that sink in for a moment.  When it does, you'll begin to realise that if everything you do for them is a choice, you don't necessarily have to do all the things you're doing or in the ways that you are doing them.  It is a choice.  You have the freedom to choose. It is in your control.

(And obviously, I'm not talking about looking after their basic needs - food, shelter, love - which is a given!)

Making this perspective shift can often ease some of the pressure we put on ourselves as parents for umpteen reasons, including feeling like we have to, feeling like we're not doing enough, not being enough, not doing all the things the other parents are doing, not doing all the things we see on social media, etc. etc. etc.

You have a choice.  

So maybe, today, you'll choose not to be the pinterest-perfect parent. 

Maybe today, you'll choose to give your child porridge for dinner instead of a colourful balanced meal. 

Maybe today, you'll prioritise your needs over the demands of your children and you'll find a way to keep them occupied whilst you do what you need to do for yourself.  

And if you feel compelled to continue to do all the things you're doing and in the way that you're doing them, ask yourself if this is in everyone's best interests?  If so, fantastic, keep going!

If not, ask yourself why you feel this compulsion. 

What does it mean if you start to do things differently?

What does it say about you as a parent? 

What does it say about your kids? 

What beliefs are underpinning your choices and actions? 

What are the implications behind these beliefs?

Yes, this is hard work.  This is inner work that many of us resist.  We stay on the surface and wonder why our daily life isn't manifesting in the way we want, hope or expect. 

There is only so much change we can manifest superficially. 

And today, I encourage you to venture a bit deeper.