One Thing To Reduce Your Stress or Overwhelm

In these unprecedented times that we are all adjusting to, whether you realise it or not, it is highly likely that your own neurological alarm system has been activated.

You've heard about your fight/flight/freeze response? 

Well, I'm quite certain yours has been activated to some degree in the past few weeks.  It can appear as stress, anxiety, worry, frustration, sadness. hopelessness, fear or anger. 

Maybe it's the empty shelves in the supermarket that activated your maternal/paternal protective stress about whether you'll have enough food for your family…

Maybe it's the thought or reality of having your children around 24/7 that's activated anxiety or fear of how you will keep them entertained, how you'll all get along and how you'll all cope…

Maybe you're anxious about having to manage your child's education or having to manage your own workload with children around…

Maybe you're worried about the unknown -  how long this situation is going to last, whether your own parents will get the virus, whether life will ever return to “normal"...

There are so many things that might have activated your neurological alarm system.   

If you can, take a moment to notice... how is your stress level? 

Is your heart-rate elevated? 

Are you "losing it" faster than usual? 

Are you snapping at your kids more frequently or for things you normally wouldn't do? 

Or consuming more... wine, coffee, biscuits...? 

Or do you feel numb, switched off or disengaged? 

These are all signs that your biological alarm systems are fired up.

Being aware of our own state of alarm is the first step to changing it.

Try to take some time today to notice yourself and assess how your mind and body is coping.  Not just superficially, but at your core.

Too often, we're so good at trudging on and ignoring the signs that we’re...off-centered.

It's totally normal for you to be experiencing some sort of a heightened stress response right now with all that's going on and all that you're having to manage. 

It's not easy.

I’m sure you’ll already have your own personal "go-to" methods of helping yourself  - ways to reduce your stress, stay sane, etc. 

These could include:

• Time for yourself - in whatever form that takes.  Reading a good book, having a cup of tea, watching a film, re-connecting with family/friends, taking a nap, etc.
• Physical exercise, breathing exercises, meditation, gratitude practice, yoga, etc.
• Laughter & Tears (possibly in conjunction with some of the above)

(BTW, physical exercise, breathing, laughter, tears, etc. literally change the chemicals circulating in your body and can instantly help regulate your neurological alarm systems.)

Yes - You NEED to put yourself first.  Even now.  With everything going on. 

With little/littler people all around you. 

Especially now.

Deep down you know this. 

Even not-so-deep down. 

And I DO know how tough it is to put yourself first. 

The thing is, none of us know how long this situation is going to last.  So you need to ensure you are looking after yourself - mentally and physically - so that you can get through this situation, however long it takes. 

If you don't prioritise yourself now, how long do you really think you'll be able to keep going?

And, in addition to all those great go-to ways you might have for putting yourself first, one of THE MOST helpful ways I think there is out there for regulating your neurological alarm systems is to have an outlet where you can offload.   

So, if you can, build time into your day to offload all that stuff you're holding in. 

All that stuff in your head, your heart, your body. 

Find a time when your children are NOT around (say, after they have gone to bed) and find a willing friend, partner or family member who can be there for you (virtually or in-person) and listen to you so that you can speak and let go of your truth. 

You don't need a long time - just 10-15 minutes to ramble away, to let it all out, to give it air and light so that you can let it all go.

If you need to, ask the person you've selected to just listen to you.  To offer you compassion and a safe space where you can offload.  No problem solving, judgment or solutions needed.  No follow-up discussions required.  Just 10-15 minutes of you letting it all out, letting it all go.

Sometimes it can feel strange to offload to another person, especially if we're not used to doing it.  If you're struggling to find someone with whom you can safely offload or it feels strange to offload out loud, then consider offloading to a journal as an alternative.  The point is to get it out of your system! 

Do give it a go...

If you can do this, you'll find it a HUGE release, neurological regulator and invisible bucket-filler (you know, that invisible bucket we all have inside…).

Yes, YOUR bucket gets depleted too and this is a way of ensuring that it gets refilled before you go to bed so you can begin the next day feeling more centered, calm and neurologically neutral.

Try it out?   

Figure out how you'll make it happen tonight! 😉