Moody Parents = Crappy Kids

Ever notice how the mood of one person can impact the mood of another?  For example, when your partner is grumpy and in a bad mood, you pick up on that negative energy and start to get a bit grumpy yourself?  Similarly, if someone is super happy and excited, you can pick up on that positive energy and start to feel those happy vibes rev up too?

Our kids are no different. 

In fact, because of the way they are designed, they pick up on ENERGY even more than we do.  So if we're stressed out, tired, in a bad mood or worried about stuff, they will most certainly pick up on that negative energy subconsciously - without even realising it.

How does that affect them? 

Well... maybe they start misbehaving.  Maybe they start to whine, demand things or annoy their sibling.  Maybe they withdraw and retreat to a safe, quiet activity or place.  Or maybe they start asking you lots of questions or asking you to do things they subconsciously feel will bring back their "usual/happy" parent.

There are two points I want to raise here:

1) Your aura absolutely impacts your kids.  So even if you think you're the best actor in the world and are trying to hide whatever you're juggling,  if you're not in a great place your kids will feel it.

2) Misbehaviour or crappy behaviour doesn't just spontaneously happen.  There's always a cause (or multiple causes).  And sometimes, it's tricky to identify all the contributing factors leading up to your child's misbehaviour, but if you're stressed, exhausted or overwhelmed, you can bet that the energy you are giving off is absolutely contributing to any misbehaviour that's happening.

So should you feel even worse if you've got a lot on or are struggling a bit? 

NO! 

If you're ever in that situation (and we all find ourselves there from time to time),  then you definitely need to give yourself some grace.  Life happens and we can't be happy and upbeat all of the time.

But perhaps just keep in the back of your mind that reminder that your child's crappy behaviour might be in part due to your negative energy and it might even SEEM WORSE than it is or is triggering you more than usual because you're not in a good place yourself.  

(And no, your child is not out to get you or be deliberately rotten!)

And that when you're in a better place yourself, you might find your child's misbehaviour either stops, changes or is just less triggering for you.  And because you'll be in a better place yourself, you'll be better positioned to help your child deal with whatever is going on for them - calmly and consciously.

It starts with YOU.  

So if you're not already doing so, take a moment each day to focus on yourself.  Figure out what you need and how to make it happen.  Make a plan and take action by focusing on one step at a time. 

Small steps taken consistently add up. 

Do this so you have the resources within yourself to show up as the kind of parent you want to be.  So that your kids can feed off that safe, positive energy you'll naturally project.  So that you feel you're living the life you're meant to live and being the person you were meant to be.