End Homework Battles & Establish Good Homework Habits

Do you have school age children who resist doing their homework?

A child who will procrastinate and find any excuse to put off sitting down and doing their homework? 

Do you find yourself repeatedly saying “it’s time to do your homework” and “remember you have homework to do” and “when are you going to do your homework???!!!!”?   

Or do you have a child who is constantly forgetting to bring their homework home or even remember that they have any to do?

Or maybe you have a child who rushes through their homework, doing it as fast as they can just to be done with it, and in the process puts minimal effort in resulting in messy or thoughtless work, or even answers that are just plain wrong?

For most children in the northern hemisphere, the new school year has started and for most, that means that homework assignments have also begun. 

The start of a new school year is a great time to set your child up with some good habits for remembering and completing their homework – on time, proficiently and without you nagging or reminding them!

To have homework or not….

In supporting your child to set up good homework habits, it’s important first to understand your own feelings about homework.  You might have quite strong beliefs about the value of homework or you might not have given it any thought at all. 

There has been a lot of discussion in recent years about whether children, especially those in primary/elementary school, should even be given homework in the first place. 

Some schools and even countries in the world, do not have any homework for school children up to a certain age.  They believe that there is sufficient learning during school hours and that outside of school, children should have the freedom to play and explore other activities. 

Others believe that homework is valuable and reinforces what has been learnt in the classroom through practice.  Another cited benefit of homework is that it can, depending on how it is structured in your home, help a child develop useful habits and skills such as independent work, self-organisation and time management.

How you feel about homework might affect your ability to support your child in doing theirs. 

I invite you to consider your own beliefs about homework and whether you find it of value. 

Now, consider if your child does get homework and completion is not optional, whether you can support the education system you have chosen for your child and therefore, support that that system believes homework is integral to the child’s education. 

If you struggle to find a way to value homework, then you will struggle to support your child in consistently and proficiently completing it. 

Plainly said, if you don’t believe the homework is valuable, it’ll be tough to convince your child it is!

Building Good Homework Habits

Most children operate best within a predictable structure.  When there are known routines and rules to follow.  That’s true whether you are trying to teach your children good personal hygiene or establish good homework habits. 

So, how do you go about doing this for homework?

First, make sure that you and your partner are on the same page about the value of homework in your family (e.g. that it must be done, on-time and diligently) and some of the non-negotiable rules (e.g. it must be done before screens/dinner/bedtime). 

Being on the same page helps you send a consistent message to your child and also helps avoid any room for negotiation.

Establish homework routines and rule

Discuss the homework routines and rules with your child/ren.  These should include:

• A set place to do homework. Ideally a desk or table of some sort, this space should be tidy and should not have easy distractions (i.e. no TV/Screens, music, toys, fiddly things).    
• A set place to keep homework. Many children keep their homework in their school bags but if yours is consistently misplacing their homework, set up a homework tray or shelf where they can place their homework when they come in from school and where they can keep it when they are not working on it.  Ideally this would be somewhere visible so it doesn’t get forgotten!
• A set time to do homework. Studies have shown that the ideal time to do homework is within an hour of getting home after school or after-school activities.  Make sure your child has a good snack and drink first and if necessary, a little downtime.  If having a little downtime is going to turn into a procrastination tactic for your child, make the snack time the downtime and then get started on homework.
• A set schedule for homework. Homework generally works best if it is done everyday.  Depending on the age of your child and the type and level of homework that they get, that might be a different subject everyday or just a little bit of reading everyday.  If after school activities mean that your child doesn’t have a lot of time on a particular night, and homework completion is flexible, then you could set it up so that they don’t do homework on that night (provided all the homework for the next day had already been done).
• A set time limit for homework. Be realistic and reasonable.  For primary/elementary school children, blocks of 15-30 minutes works best.  If your child is struggling and therefore takes a long time, you may need to discuss this with their teacher.  If your child is older and they have a lot of homework, schedule breaks so they can keep up their concentration levels.  During the breaks, make sure your child gets up and moves around  - studies have shown that gross motor movements help keep us alert!

Support your child

As you are discussing the homework routine and rules with your child, actively listen to see if there are any concerns or protests.  They will generally let you know if they are feeling reluctant to agree to a certain rule or if they feel they won’t be able to meet your expectations.  Acknowledge these feelings and problem solve with your child to see if there are acceptable solutions to dissolve these barriers.

Some children will need your help to understand the basics – what homework they have to do, by when, and what they have to do.  If that’s the case, start the year by supporting your child fully, and slowly begin to hand over back to them by asking them questions and getting them to talk through what they think they have to do etc.

Descriptively praise any steps your child takes in the right direction, and especially effort, attitude and strategies. 

If your child usually forgets their homework but remembered, you could say “You remembered to bring your homework with you.  You’re getting more organised!” 

If your child is a procrastinator and manages to sit down and get their homework out on the table, then you might say something like “Thank you for getting your books out and being ready to start your homework!”. 

If your child usually gives up or gets lazy when the homework gets tough, then you’re might say something like “You really want to give up right now because it’s getting tough.  I know that you can decide to put in a little effort and persevere with this task.” 

You can also praise the fact they are not doing something, such as “You completed that whole sheet without moaning!”.

Whether or not you check your child’s homework is up to you and may also depend on the philosophy of the school/teacher.  Many schools believe that homework is a childhood task that enables children to learn how to manage their own organisation, time and check-their own work. 

Many also believe that it’s important for parents not to intervene in a child’s homework so that the teacher can have an accurate assessment of where the child is at – if a parent corrects the child’s work, the teacher won’t know. 

On the other hand, some schools expect parents to be actively involved. 

If you are unsure, schedule a quick chat with your child’s teacher to discuss this.

And what if they still don’t complete their homework?

It is important that children understand the natural consequences of their actions. 

Hopefully if your child goes to a school that has decided to give out homework, the school will also check the homework and have thought about the consequences for a child not completing it or not completing it sufficiently well. 

Try not to rescue your child from experiencing these consequences, at least to begin with.  Let them understand that if they don’t do their homework or forget it at home, there are consequences they have to face at school.    

Having said that, if this becomes a repeated pattern and your child isn’t showing any inclination to change, reach out to their teacher and have a discussion with your child.  It may be that they are struggling with the subject and need extra help in feeling sufficiently competent to complete it.

Focus on the Positive

Assuming your child has homework, try to make it a positive experience.  This will not only help your child, but it will also ensure your home environment stays a happy and safe place. 

Allow for fun experiences to follow homework completion – playtime/downtime or special time with you.  

Remember that children naturally want to behave well and feel successful.  They want to feel like they can accomplish the tasks put in front of them.  If they are struggling to do so, then delve into some problem solving with them to figure out what exactly they are struggling with – is it confidence, the subject-matter, organisation?  Or is it that they would just rather not do it and play instead!  In which case, acknowledge they are feeling that way and accept that emotion.  And then, kindly but firmly, let them know that homework completion is non-negotiable. 

It may take a few weeks or even months to build up good homework routines, but consistency, patience and empathy will help your child establish these important habits and make for a happier after-school home environment!