5 Daily Connection Habits

Connection is at the heart of every strong relationship. 

When we, as parents, want our children to listen to us, do as we ask or just be fun to be around, what we’re really asking is for them to feel sufficiently connected to us in order to be able and willing to do and be all these things. 

For them to feel sufficiently loved, valued and noticed.

Because when our children feel all these things and are strongly connected to us, they are more likely to “behave well” - listen and cooperate and be the kind of child we want them to be.

Notice it’s not about whether they KNOW they are loved. 

It’s about FEELING loved - unconditionally and wholly.

Despite all that we try and do as parents to keep our kids alive and thriving, despite all that we try to teach them, what truly matters most to them is the quality of the relationship that they have with us. 

That’s the “secret sauce” that helps them learn all the things and thrive without us.

Here are 5 Daily Habits to ensure a Strong Connection with your child:

Build in 1-to-1 time

Building in 10-15 minutes of your time with each child into your daily schedule can ensure that you always have that time with each child to reconnect.

8-12 Hugs

Give 8-12 hugs a day to each child.  Try to make at least one of them last a bit longer and really hold your child.  Physical reconnection and touch are essential.   

Play and Laugh

Playing and laughing together will release chemicals in your child’s brain associated with happiness and release.  It can also be FUN for both of you.  Get physical (game of chase, trampoline jumping, kicking a ball around, etc.), engage in some roughhousing (gentle pillow fight, wresting, etc.) or put on some music and have an impromptu dance party.

Take an Extra Minute or Two

Taking an extra minute or two to just “be” with your child at various moments throughout their day will help both of you feel more connected and enjoy each other’s company.  We can often be so busy rushing through the schedule we forget to stop and be in the moment with our child.

Listen and Notice

It’s so easy to listen without truly listening.  Each of us wants to feel that we are noticed and valued.  More than words, it’s our body language that can convey our thoughts and feelings and whether we are really interested.  Pay attention.

Start Slowly and Commit

It's so easy to quickly skim over these 5 habits and say to ourselves, "oh yes, I know all this already" or, "it all seems so simple and easy".  Almost too simple.  Or "that it's common sense".  

The thing is, it CAN be simple and easy but it can also be SO trickly to do consistently.  If you're already consistently doing all these 5 habits, then power to you and keep on going!  However, if you're like most parents, you'll need to work on building up these habits to where they are just that - habits you don't even have to think twice about. 

Start slowly.  Take one habit you're not already doing and commit to doing it everyday this week.  Then select another one next week and add it into your routine.  Keep going until all 5 are part of your daily schedule and you're not giving any of it a second thought.