10 Proactive Strategies for a Peaceful Transition to School

Transitioning from pre-school or kindergarten to “proper” school is a big deal for parents and children alike.  Chances are, both you and your child are feeling a variety of emotions - from excited to anxious and everything in between. 

If your child is starting school this year for the first time, here are 10 things you can do in advance to prepare yourselves for a successful transition:

1. Visit the school and if possible, meet the teacher. 

Many schools arrange an orientation visit in the weeks before the start of school for new students but if yours doesn’t, then try to visit the school on your own.  At the very least, you can see the building from the outside and maybe even have some time at the playground so your child gets familiar with the surroundings.  If you can go inside, see your child’s new classroom and visit the toilets so they feel confident they know where to go when they need it!

Talk about the school day and routine and even practice the route to school together so that they are familiar with it and it’s not all a surprise on that first day.  This will help you too with knowing your timings so you’re not rushing on that first day!

2. Pack their School Bag together

Take the time to prepare your child’s school bag together with them so that they become aware of what is inside and what they need to take to school each day.  You want your child to take ownership of their bag and see themselves as responsible for it - the earlier they get used to that concept, the more independent and capable they will feel. 

Make sure that they are equipped with all the necessary school supplies and any other essential items.  If you need to buy school supplies, why not create a picture list and go shopping with your child? Give them the list of pictures and allow them to find and select the items.  They will feel very grown-up and responsible (as well as be a lot of fun!). 

When children are first starting school it sometimes helps to put a light change of clothes or at least underwear for any accidents that might happen due to nerves or excitement. 

If the school has a uniform, go with your child to buy it together so they can begin to get used to it and feel like it’s “theirs”.  This also helps them get excited about being a “big” child and starting school.

3. Practice Saying Goodbye

It’s important to talk about how you will say goodbye to your child each day, or at least on the first few school mornings.  Will you part at home, at the school bus stop, school gates or classroom door?  Knowing this in advance can help reduce anticipation anxiety. 

It may feel silly, but it often helps to even practice saying goodbye to one another and doing a bit of role-play.  You could develop a special phrase or parting routine that’s just for the two of you at school time (think of something like your bedtime cuddles/phrases and adapt for daytime and the school environment).

4.  Give them an Anchor

It might be helpful for your child to have some sort of anchor, or something special that helps them feel safe and reminds them that you’re with them or of their internal courage.  It could be a special cuddly toy (a small one) or a stone or trinket that they can put in their pocket. 

You can talk about how that stone or trinket can remind them of how brave they are so that if ever they feel unsure, sad or are missing you, then they can put their hand in their pocket, feel their stone and be reminded that it’s all going to be okay. 

You could even “cast a spell” on the stone and add a bit of your love in there so they can “feel your love” when they touch the stone at school.  Be creative to the extent your child will allow - the more fun and light you make things, the more secure they will feel.

5. Talk about Feelings

It’s normal for both you and your child to have lots of mixed feelings about starting school.  Even if your child seems to be super excited, it’s almost certain that underneath there will be a bit of anxiety, nervousness, and anticipation of the unknown. 

The more that you can help your child to talk about their feelings, the more they will begin to understand and be able to manage them.  Be aware that they probably won’t have all the vocabulary or self-awareness yet to be able to articulate all that is going on inside so you’ll need to do a bit of guesswork.  Talk about the possible feelings by giving your child that new vocabulary, describing what those feelings might feel like and let them know that all feelings are normal and okay. 

By helping your child identify their feelings by giving them the vocabulary to describe them, you will also be helping them to better manage these emotions.  You can talk about what to do if they feel certain feelings (tell someone, talk to you, take a deep breath, clench their fists, etc.) which will help them feel more in control of themselves when they are overcome with emotions.

6.  Meet other kids

If possible, try to arrange some playdates with children that will be going to the same school.  Even if your child doesn’t become best buddies with these children, it just helps to have a few familiar faces during that first week. 

7.  Start a Countdown-Calendar

Sometimes it can be fun to countdown the days until school starts.  Creating a calendar gets the anticipation out of your child’s head and makes it tactile and visual. 

You can create something together with them that has boxes with descending numbers to check off each day (e.g. 10, 9, 8, 7 etc.). 

Make it fun and colourful and if you’ve got some fun activities planned in the remaining days of summer, then pop those on the calendar too so that it’s not just about starting school.  Each day, allow your child to cross out or check off a box and read the number so you both know how many days remain until their first day of school.

8.  Prep the Night Before

Do as much as you can the night before to make sure you and your child are ready for the morning ahead.  Pick out their clothes or lay out their uniform, plan/prep any snacks and lunches and get your child to bed on time.  Also, make sure that YOU get to bed on time and plan to wake up a bit earlier so that you can get yourself ready in order to be able to support your child fully. 

9. Allow Extra Time on the First Day of School

That first morning might all go smoothly (especially if you have done as much preparation in advance as possible), but there might be some unexpected meltdowns or extra stress that will take time to manage. 

So plan in some extra time just in case and to avoid any “time stress” that might otherwise occur.  There will be extra foot and road traffic on the first day of school so anticipate this and be sure to have enough time to get to school a bit early.

10.  Prepare for the Pickup and the After-School Meltdown

If you are picking up your child at the end of the day, be sure to arrive a few minutes early so that you can be sure to be there.  There is nothing worse than a child exiting school on that first day, excited to see their parent, only to find the parent isn’t there….  They need to feel reassured that you will be there when they come out (at least on that first day!). 

Your child will be super excited to reconnect with you and tell you all about their first day so when you do pick them up, be sure to give them your attention.  Try to avoid parental chit-chat and save the socialising for another day.  On this first day, your child needs YOU.

Anticipate some potential meltdowns after school - if not on that first day, then during the week or the first few weeks.  This is entirely normal.  At school, your child has to hold everything together and be on their best behaviour.  During the school day, they will be processing a lot of thoughts and building up lots of emotions.  When they see you and/or get home, they will feel “safe” to let all of this “stuff” out.  

Transitioning to “big school” is a big deal for children and parents alike.  Don’t underestimate the flood of emotions YOU might experience after drop off on that first day!!!  This is the start of a new chapter in your lives and the more you can do in advance to prepare for it, the more you will be able to enjoy the experience rather than just react to it. 

Remember to take lots of photos so you can always remember this precious moment in the future!